Ashlie’s Embrace: Turning Grief Into a Mission of Love and Lasting Impact
Ashlie’s Embrace began with one mother’s unimaginable loss and her determination to change the experience for others. After the stillbirth of her daughter, Ashlie, founder Erin learned about the CuddleCot, a cooling device that gives families precious extra time with their baby after loss. She realized too late that this option wasn’t available to her and was moved to ensure no other family would have to say goodbye before they were ready.
Ten years later, Ashlie’s Embrace has grown from a single family’s act of love into the largest donor of CuddleCots in the United States. Their mission has touched thousands of families, reshaped bereavement care, and inspired conversations about how hospitals support parents after loss.
About The Mission and Journey
For those who may not know, how did Ashlie’s Embrace begin and what inspired its creation?
Ashlie’s Embrace was created after the full-term stillbirth of our first baby, Ashlie. I had absolutely no warning signs. She was just….gone. After being in labor for 24 hours, I had a c-section. I held Ashlie as I was wheeled back to my room right after, but in a haze of shock, grief, exhaustion and anesthesia, I started shaking violently and thought I would drop her. I handed her to my mom and fell asleep. When I asked for her the next morning, she had changed so much. She was no longer warm and pink. Her skin was angry and purple and ice cold from having spent the night in the hospital’s “cold room.” My husband suggested I not unswaddle her to even count her toes or see her feet, as she looked so very different from the night before. I held her for maybe 15 minutes and gave her back, as there was no bassinet in my room to keep her there, and I wasn’t sure what was “normal” to do.
As I prepared to go home, I read an article that referenced a CuddleCot, and I was so angry we hadn’t been offered one. I didn’t realize they weren’t readily available at the time. We created Ashlie’s Embrace a few weeks later to donate CuddleCots nationwide. I didn’t want any other family to have to say goodbye so quickly.
What was your vision when you first started this journey, and how has it grown over the past ten years?
Our first goal was to donate 10 CuddleCots by Ashlie’s 1st birthday. When we achieved that, I started thinking maybe we could get one in all the hospitals in Ohio. Then a friend paid for one for a hospital in Nashville, Tenn., and then someone donated one in Florida, and I realized this could be way bigger than I’d ever imagined. Now our vision is that every single labor & delivery and NICU in the United States will have at least one CuddleCot.
Looking back, what moments or milestones stand out as especially meaningful?
There are two moments that stand out as especially meaningful. The first is sending at least one CuddleCot to all 50 states. The second is reaching $1 million in revenue since our inception. It happened at our annual gala, and everyone celebrated with us. That was a really neat moment.
How has the mission evolved as you’ve connected with families and communities across the country? Ashlie’s Embrace started for Ashlie…to see her name on every memorial plaque we send. But it’s grown to include all of the babies we honor with our dedications. Their families, names and stories are etched into my mind, and THAT’S how we continue to grow and connect with people nationwide.
Impact and Achievements
Ashlie’s Embrace is the largest donor of CuddleCots in the United States. What does that achievement mean to you and your team?
It’s both amazing and really sad. I’m proud of our team and the work we’ve done (and continue to do.) This team is small but very dedicated and mighty. I’m also honored to be a light in the dark for the families who choose to use one of the CuddleCots we donated. But It’s really sad that pregnancy and infant losses are happening as frequently as they are.
What difference do you see CuddleCots making for families, both in the moment of loss and in their longer grief journey? I can’t speak for everyone, but in our case, everything happened so, so fast. We weren’t necessarily being rushed to make decisions, but no one was encouraging us to take our time and really soak everything in. I didn’t even realize at the time that those were my last minutes with Ashlie. If I had, I would’ve kept her much, much longer. Families that have had a CuddleCot, however, have said that they were able to create moments, bring in family or allow themselves some time to just sit in their current situation, instead of rushing to go home or make arrangements. I think that helps with the grief journey in the long run because there are likely fewer regrets. Less “I wish I would’ve…” and more “I’m so glad we got to…” I still regret the memories I didn’t make with Ashlie in the few moments we had her. I’m sure that’s impacted my healing.
Over the past decade, what are some of the accomplishments you feel most proud of?
We’re most proud of the fact that we can offer families a choice during a time when there isn’t much they can control. That we can give families a tangible way to honor their baby that also helps others in the process. We’re also proud of the scope of work we get to do even though our team is small. It’s humbling, to say the least.
What feedback have you received from families and hospitals that shows the impact of your work?
We receive emails all the time from families who have used a CuddleCot and say it allowed them some closure. We hear that it gave them peace. We also get usage numbers from hospitals and love that some of made the CuddleCot a standard of care. The familiy isn’t asked if they want it…it’s just there for them to use.
HB 37 and Advocacy in Texas
Ashlie’s Embrace is involved in the work around HB 37 in Texas. Can you share more about that? We’ve been placing CuddleCots in Texas for years. In fact, much of our work in recent history has been in that state. So we’d like to be seen as an option for hospitals needing assistance in meeting the bill’s perinatal cooling device criteria.
Why was HB 37 such an important step forward for bereaved families in Texas?
Loss care is all over the place. Not just in Texas…everywhere. Families are not receiving the same resources, staff isn’t getting the same training, and not every provider has the same comfort level when it comes to caring for these families. This bill levels the field for families and allows for a similar experience across hospitals. It can also empower staff to know that if they leave their current hospital, the process at the next one will be familiar.
How do you hope the lessons learned in Texas will encourage change in other states?
We’d love to see states across the nation adopt similar practices. Even if it isn’t a law…a rating system that says “this hospital provides great bereavement care” would be helpful, too. We’ve come a long way in our conversations about loss. This is an important first step to a standard of care every family can count on.
Supporting Families Across the U.S.
Ashlie’s Embrace has touched thousands of families nationwide. What are some of the most common challenges they face, and how do you provide support?
Some of the most common challenges they face are not knowing they can have more time, staff that isn’t comfortable (or doesn’t have the resources to) providing support to loss families, and generally being blindsided by their loss. Some families know this is coming and can take steps to prepare as well as possible. So many of them are caught off guard and are completely unprepared. That’s why we work with the team at CuddleCot and other nonprofits in this space to provide training and support for hospitals to work with loss families. We also find that a lot of people feel alone after their loss. While none of us is a trained counselor and cannot offer advice, our team is here to listen if someone needs an ear.
Can you share a story that captures the heart of Ashlie’s Embrace and its impact on families? There are so many stories that could fit this, so I’ll make it broad. Our peer-to-peer fundraising has resulted in the donation of more than 200 CuddleCots nationwide. That fundraising is done by families who either used a CuddleCot and want no family to go without…or families who didn’t have a CuddleCot and don’t want other families to have the same experience. That’s the heart of what we do, and the donor families have come alongside us to give thousands of other families the gift of time.
What role do partnerships with hospitals and healthcare providers play in expanding your reach? We can’t have people in every hospital in every state, so hospitals and healthcare providers act as our eyes and ears in the field. Do they need another CuddleCot? Do they need more training? Do they know another hospital that needs one? Is there a family asking to donate one? All of that helps us expand. It also carries some weight when one provider tells another, “We have a CuddleCot, and it’s great,” because that other provider may take that recommendation more seriously (and want one) than if we just cold call and offer one.
Future Vision
As you celebrate ten years, what is next for Ashlie’s Embrace?
Our vision is that every L&D and NICU in the United States will have at least one perinatal cooling unit. We’re expanding our team and strengthening our systems to achieve that vision.
How do you see your role in shaping the future of bereavement care in the United States?
If every hospital has a cooling unit, that minimizes the number of families that don’t have enough time to say goodbye. That extra time could literally change someone’s future and how they grieve….maybe it will change their marriage, their job, their mental health, the way they parent other children…there’s a lot of power in those moments before a family leaves the hospital. Our hope is that, by offering more time, we can help shape what happens after they get home.
What projects or goals are you most excited to focus on in the coming years?
Honestly, I’m looking forward to strengthening our systems so we can support more families and hospitals. When we can do more, our impact can be greater.
If you could dream big without limits, what would you most like to see Ashlie’s Embrace achieve for families?
For every hospital in the nation to have the resources to give families the time they deserve with their baby after loss.
Personal Reflection
What keeps you motivated and inspired in this work?
This is how I parent Ashlie. Just as I attend play practice or chaperone field trips for our son, this is how I spend time with her. That’s my first motivator. My second is that I know how badly I wanted more time with Ashlie and how I live with that regret daily. I don’t want any family to say, “That wasn’t an option for us because we didn’t have a cooling device.” The thought of quitting before every hospital has one makes me physically ill.
What message would you like to share with families who are just now discovering Ashlie’s Embrace?
Please know you’re not alone. Ashlie’s Embrace exists because we understand the deep ache of losing a baby and the sacred importance of time and memory. Our hope is that, through our work, you feel supported, seen, and given the space to honor your child in your own way.
As Ashlie’s Embrace celebrates ten years of impact, their mission continues: to see every labor and delivery and NICU unit in the country equipped with a perinatal cooling device. Through advocacy, education, and partnership, they’re helping ensure every family has the time they deserve to say goodbye.
You can be part of this mission.
- Donate: Help place more CuddleCots in hospitals across the U.S.
- Partner: Hospitals and healthcare professionals can connect with our team and the Ashlie’s Embrace to learn how to support families after loss.
- Share: Spread awareness so more families know that time is possible.
Visit ashliesembrace.org to learn more, get involved, or make a gift in memory of a loved one.
Find Free Bereavement care resources and online training at: cuddlecot.com/training
Got a question about CuddleCot? Speak to our U.S. team at: usainfo@cuddlecot.com