How Loss Books Helps Families After Twin or Triplet Loss
When words are not enough, stories can help families heal. After losing one of her twin sons, author Kate Polley found comfort in writing his story for her surviving twin, Finn. What began as a personal way to remember Sam soon resonated with many other parents who had experienced the loss of a twin or triplet.
From this heartfelt beginning, Loss Books was born. The organisation now offers a compassionate collection of personalised grief books and baby remembrance books that help families talk about loss and love in a gentle, age-appropriate way. Each title provides an opportunity to remember a baby or child while offering words that comfort, explain, and heal.
1. What inspired your organisation to begin supporting families experiencing twin or triplet loss – and what’s next?
After the loss of one of her twin sons, Kate Polley wrote her first book, Sam and Finn, to share Sam’s story with her surviving twin, Finn, her family and friends. What began as a personal act of remembrance grew as others who had suffered similar losses expressed how much comfort it gave them. Feedback from bereaved families wanting personalised versions with their own child’s name made it clear there was a need for more bespoke, gentle tools for remembering and discussing loss.
Kate met Gail Powell, an independent book publisher in the UK, and asked if she could help service the orders that began coming in for Sam and Finn after Kate mentioned it on a twin loss Facebook group. Thus, an international partnership grew that is nearly 10 years old.
Over time, the project evolved into Loss Books, which now offers a wide range of books: personalised and non-personalised, covering baby loss, twin loss, triplet loss, multiple loss, adult loss, and more. There are over 100 versions in many different skin tones and hair colours, etc.
2. What types of support or resources do you provide that make the biggest difference for families?
Personalised memory-books: Versions of Sam and Finn – My Twin – and many others which can be personalised with the name(s), appearance, etc. of the lost child(ren) and/or surviving twin(s), making them a keepsake and tool for remembering.
Non-personalised versions: For those who want the message/story but perhaps less customisation.
Books for many kinds of loss: Not just twin loss, but miscarriage, stillbirth, triplet loss, and loss of multiple babies. So families whose loss doesn’t quite look like Kate’s story can still find something that speaks to them.
Books in a variety of appearances: skin tones, hair colours, etc, to make the story more relatable and inclusive.
Storytelling/narrative as healing: The books provide a way to tell the story of loss, making it real, and help families speak about it with children, siblings, and others in a gentle way. The writing and illustrations are meant to be comforting.
Partnerships with charities: Loss Books works with charities (for example, Footprints Baby Loss and Sands) so that bereaved families can access the books (sometimes via charity channels) and amplify support.
Resources beyond the books (through partner / related orgs): online support, personal stories/blogs from others who have gone through twin/triplet loss, community, peer support, etc.
The recent addition of a ‘Baby Loss Journal’ – ‘Whispers to My Baby’, which can be white labelled for any organisation to use under their own branding, but is currently available on the Loss Books store, with images from the existing books adorning the cover.
3. Are there any common challenges or misconceptions about twin/triplet loss you’d like to raise awareness of?
Feeling of isolation / “no one else understands”: Many parents feel utterly alone, especially when much of the literature/talk is about single loss or miscarriage/stillbirth, rather than loss from multiples. The experience of having more than one baby, and one surviving, introduces complexities of mixed emotions (grief + joy), identity, etc.
Mixed emotions: Surviving twin or triplet – joy for the child who is alive; grief for the one who has died; sometimes guilt, confusion. It can be hard to address both these feelings without feeling like one should “move on” or suppress the grief.
Lack of resources tailored to twin/triplet loss: As Kate discovered, there was a gap in books/memory tools that spoke to the specific situation of twin/triplet loss, including survival of one or more, or loss of all. Many resources are more generic and may omit or gloss over nuances (e.g. what it’s like for the surviving sibling/twin).
Taboos/discomfort talking about death in multiples: Sometimes people (family, friends, health professionals) may not know how to talk about it, may avoid mentioning the lost twin, or expect grief to “be done” by a certain time. This can leave parents feeling invalidated.
Grief does not follow a fixed timeline: There can be moments many years later when the loss still feels raw; anniversaries, surviving twin’s milestones, etc, can trigger grief. Having tools/spaces that remain accessible long after the loss is important.
Practical issues: e.g. finding a book or resource they can relate to (appearance, cultural background), or the cost, or accessing these resources during or right after crisis moments. Also, providing something both for children (surviving twins, siblings) and parents to share and talk about together.
4. Do you have an upcoming event, campaign, or resource you’d like us to share?
We are currently creating the My Twin book in Dutch for a leading twin loss organisation – TAPS. If you would like more information on that, I can check with my counterpart on this new title, but they are looking to launch during October so not a problem to mention.
5. What message of hope or support would you give to families navigating this type of loss?
You are not alone in your grief, even when it feels as though no one else can quite understand what you’re living through. The child you lost is still real, still loved, and their life matters. It’s okay to feel both joy and sorrow, to remember and to move forward in your own time. Sometimes a story, a memory, or simply naming your child can bring a small comfort. May you find spaces, words, and people who help carry your pain, and whom you can trust to hold your memories gently. There is no ‘one way’, only your way, and your love does not end where their life did.
Through its beautiful stories and illustrations, Loss Books provides a safe way for families to remember and celebrate the children they have lost. Every personalised story helps parents, siblings, and friends honour those memories with love and tenderness.
For anyone seeking twin loss support or looking for meaningful ways to talk about baby or multiple loss, Loss Books offers a reminder that grief and love can exist side by side. Your child’s story matters, their memory matters, and you are never alone.
Learn more at: lossbooks.com
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