Nurse Spotlight: Suzanne Bellinger, Clinical Nurse Specialist
Suzanne Bellinger, Clinical Nurse Specialist – MercyOne, Waterloo Birth Center
A Nurses Week Conversation with Suzanne Berlinger
In recognition of Nurses Week, we spoke with Suzanne Berlinger, Clinical Nurse Specialist at MercyOne Waterloo Birth Center, about the powerful and often unseen role of nurses in bereavement care. With over 30 years of experience, Suzanne has walked alongside countless families during moments of profound loss, offering not only clinical support but also heartfelt presence and compassion.
In this moving interview, Suzanne reflects on the deep emotional impact of this work, shares an unforgettable story of connection and healing, and explains how MercyOne has created a system of care that prioritises dignity, remembrance, and love.
What does it mean to you to be able to support grieving families during such a deeply difficult time?
Oh, wow. It means so much to be able to care for grieving families! I always teach that even in one of the most devastating, negative times in their patients life, they can have a positive impact and bring a little light into their darkness. The care provided to a mother of an angel baby is so much more important than the care provided to a mother taking a newborn home as they won’t have the same distractions to occupy their time when they go home. So, we as nurses need to make sure we do whatever we can to assure they know their resources and feel supported.
Can you share a moment or experience that has stayed with you in your care for a baby or child who has died?
This was years ago when I was pregnant with our daughter, around 6 months pregnant and showing. We had a patient sent from a family practice clinic that they could not get heart tones on so they sent her to labor and delivery. This is when our postpartum unit was separate from our labor and delivery unit. Well, she showed up to postpartum and I was working there that day. She said she had been sent to get her baby on the monitor. So, I took her back to labor and delivery and put her on the monitor……well, it was when I was putting her on the monitor when she said that her doctor had trouble doppling the heart tones and she and her husband had been trying to conceive for about 10 years. I knew once I went to put the external fetal monitor on to find the baby, the silence I had heard before, that things were not okay. The chill that goes through your body, the hairs standing up on your arms, the sinking in your stomach, and the pain in your heart. These feelings are nothing compared to what this mother was about to endure. There I was visibly pregnant with my second child and she was asking when I was due, what baby it was for us, etc. I then had to tell her that I needed to get the doctor and an ultrasound machine as I was having a hard time finding the baby’s heartbeat. She then asked me the dreaded question of, “Is my baby okay?” What do you say to that knowing what your gut is telling you? So, I said that I was concerned that I could not find the heart beat but that the doctor would need to do an ultrasound to verify. I asked if she wanted me to call anyone to be with her. She called her husband to come there.
The doctor came in and completed the ultrasound verifying that there were no heart tones or movement. I will never forget how guilty I felt having an alive baby inside of me and how awful it was for her having me standing there. But, it was just the opposite……..as soon as the doctor said those dreaded words, she grabbed me, hugged me, and cried so hard and she said, “Please don’t leave me. Please stay with me until my husband gets here.” Absolutely, of course. He got there and then she wanted me to stay with them until it was decided what the plan of care would be. She delivered a beautiful little boy the next day and I was able to be there. 4 months later after I had given birth to our daughter, I received a card in the mail from them congratulating me on her birth. Then, one year later, she called me and told me that she was pregnant naturally with twins! She wanted me to be there for their delivery. Which I was! So, that story has stayed with me for 27 years! There have been many other loss mothers I have had the privilege and honor to care for. This one will always hold a very special place in my heart.
How do you create a space of dignity and love for families saying goodbye to their child?
We have previously looked into fancy bereavement rooms for loss patients but then determined that no matter what the room looks like, it is not a positive experience and patients want to leave as soon after delivery as possible. So, we place them in a room away from other moms and babies, we remove any cribs and visual items from the room. We have binders for early loss, loss after 28 weeks, and a baby born alive then dies. Each binder directs the nursing staff as to what paperwork needs completed and also offers a list of everything to offer to the families.
We have a butterfly room that is a room that has all memorabilia items in one place for easy access. This is also a room where we can take the baby to do pictures, hand or foot molds, embossing of hand or footprints. We have an angel gown program where people can donate their wedding gowns to be made into outfits for stillborn babies. We offer a Cuddle cot cooling mechanism so that families are able to keep their baby with them as long as desired.
We work with a local church group who offers white miscarriage bags to loss moms who have had an early or late miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, or molar pregnancy. These bags have a knitted blanket and a beaded tiny baby feet bracelet with a card that states, “ we may not know your name but we care about your loss”. They also provide little outfits and blankets to dress the baby in, coming in different sizes for even the smallest of losses.
There is also a library of books we offer for siblings of stillborns to begin the conversation with them. There is probably more but this is what I can think of right now. We also decorate the door with a door card so that lab, dietary, or other ancillary staff know that a loss has occurred so they don’t go into the room expecting an alive baby. We also place purple butterflies around the door card.
We also work with a local funeral home and cemetery to offer a burial each October where all early losses delivered at our hospital, are buried together during a ceremony. We send out invitations to these families to this burial and also to an event we host at the hospital every October 15th at 7pm called the Wave of Light. Loss families come and light a luminary or candle for the baby or babies that they lost.
What would you like others to know about the role of nurses in end-of-life care for babies and children?
I think I already said it earlier but I think it is important to know the effect that the nurse can have on the family as well as how caring for loss families is something even after 31 years, that you never get used to, you never get comfortable with, and that you never forget. It is sad. It is real. It is a lot but it is so important.
Nurses like Suzanne are the quiet strength behind so many families’ stories, offering not just care, but comfort; not just support, but humanity. Her words remind us that bereavement care is not only about what we do, but how we do it. With presence, patience, and love.
We are deeply grateful to Suzanne and the entire nursing team at MercyOne for the extraordinary care they provide every single day. Their commitment ensures that no family walks through loss alone, and that every baby is honoured, remembered, and held close.