Restoring Choice After Perinatal Loss: A Perspective from Dr. Solimar Santiago-Warner
In perinatal palliative care, time can feel painfully short. After the death of a baby, families are often navigating shock, physical recovery, and overwhelming grief all at once.
Dr. Solimar Santiago-Warner shares her perspective on how the CuddleCot helps restore something that is often taken away in those first devastating hours: choice.
Dr. Solimar Santiago-Warner,LCSW, PMH-C, SIFIDr. Solimar Santiago-Warner,LCSW, PMH-C, SIFI
CuddleCots provide something that is often taken away from families in moments of perinatal loss: choice.
When I worked in a perinatal palliative care program in the hospital, I witnessed how quickly time can feel stolen after a baby dies. Decisions are rushed. Goodbyes feel abrupt. Parents are often in shock, trying to understand what just happened while their bodies are still postpartum, still lactating, still aching.
A CuddleCot gently cools the baby’s body, allowing families more time. More time to hold. More time to study their baby’s face. More time for grandparents to arrive. More time for siblings to meet their brother or sister. More time for photographs, blessings, prayers, silence.
It does not take away the grief.
But it reduces secondary trauma.
Without this option, families are often told they have only a short window before separation. That urgency can compound distress, create regret, and intensify the rupture between body and baby. The postpartum body is still wired for attachment. To rush separation in that moment can feel disorganizing to the nervous system.
CuddleCots create space.
Space for presence instead of panic.
Space for ritual instead of reaction.
Space for memory-making instead of medical urgency.
In perinatal palliative care, we speak often about comfort. Comfort for the baby. Comfort for the family. Comfort in how a chapter closes. A CuddleCot is a simple intervention, but its impact is profound. It allows families to move at their own pace. It restores a small measure of agency in a moment that feels overwhelmingly out of control.
I have seen parents exhale when they realize they do not have to say goodbye immediately. I have seen rooms transform from crisis to sacred space. I have seen grief unfold slowly, tenderly, beautifully.
Time matters in grief.
Choice matters in grief.
How we care for families in those first hours becomes part of the story they carry forever.
CuddleCots do not change the ending.
But they can soften the way families move through it.
CuddleCots do not take away grief. They do not change the outcome. But they create space. Space for presence instead of panic. Space for ritual instead of urgency. Space for memory-making instead of rushed separation.
In those first hours after loss, time matters. Choice matters. The way families are supported becomes part of the story they carry for the rest of their lives.
By allowing families to move at their own pace, a cuddle cot can soften secondary trauma and transform crisis into sacred space. It is a simple intervention with profound impact, helping bereavement teams provide care that is compassionate, thoughtful, and truly family-centred.
Speak to our team at info@cuddlecot.com
Learn more about the CuddleCot
#PerinatalPalliativeCare
#PerinatalLoss
#PerinatalMentalHealth
#PerinatalSocialWork